Friday, July 29, 2011

Yes! I'm still Single...

I came across a friend's status on facebook the other day and it read "Why do women in relationships feel sorry for single women?"  She went on to say, one of the sisters from church#m'zakes was speaking to her and felt the need to say the following: "ag shem, we are praying for you, and hoping God will bless you with someone special soon" #LMAO Look don't get me wrong, I pray for my future partner too, God knows what I WANT in a man but He also knows what I NEED in a man and what that man will need from me.  This is a two way's not just about us women ticking off from our "lists", the brothers also have requirements!!

I've realized that women everywhere are having the same conversation;  "when am I going to meet him;  I'm tired of being single;  I want to get married;  I want kids blah blah blah" I used to get soooooo annoyed when I would be on bbm/WA with one of the ladies from back home and within 2minutes into our chat, I would be asked "have you met someone?" I'd have to count to 10 just to calm myself down, then I would politely respond with a  "no, not yet" as I didn't want to be rude, but truly speaking it offended me and made me feel like my goals and experiences needed to be validated by a man in the picture#RME!! 

With that said, I've come to the realisation that most women that are in relationships aren't always the "happy ones"(whatever happiness means to you). Yes, relationships are hard work and are about compromise blah blah blah but what I fail to fathom is; taking care of a grown ass man, paying his bills and ish??  Staying in an abusive relationship both emotionally and physically for the sake of the children or fear of never finding anyone??  We hear, read and discuss these stories amongst ourselves on the daily and who am I to judge?!  I too have made some bad choices in the past but what I know right now, today, is that love does not hurt and I love myself enough to know when to end things and walk away.  Is it easy?  Of course not? Is it achievable? Damn right it is! But each his own right??

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bitter woman at all. I love, love, I love being in love, I love being loved...I love the whole love thing and I actually think God is molding me into the Proverbs 31 woman#blushes#smiles. I know that I'm a good catch and soon I'll be an AWESOME catch if I may say so myself#lol  I'm nowhere near perfect, but I know that God is working within me and whoever is going to end up with me  will be one blessed brother#lol  I guess it just saddens me when we as women forget that we are daughters of the Most High.  We are loved unconditionally by the Almighty God and He knows our heart's desires.  He will bless us with the right partner when we are ready.  I just think some of us have so much baggage from past relationships that we aren't even "dateable" cause we're just so miserable, bitter, angry and desperate to have babies with the next one that we meet.  I repeat, I'm no expert when it comes to this love thing but all I know is that everything happens in its season and for anyone reading this that has been hoping and praying for their future partner, I would like to reassure you that God knows and He's got this, for now, live,laugh and embrace each moment....everything else will fall into place#smiles

So to all my friends that have been wondering, concerned or interested in my relationship hasn't changed.  I am still single, I have no intentions of looking or chasing after love...I am here to discover more about myself, enjoy the cultural experience, gain work experience, meet new people, live, laugh and embrace this experience.  Just to be clear, I am not against the idea of socialising with the opposite sex and I have since crossed paths with the following males (please note I have not used their real names and have also chosen not to add their pics for obvious reasons and besides, they sue for everything here)#lol

Jason. 32. White. Met at the balloon store. Made horror movies with his cousin and posted them on youtube. Had a zillion tattoos. Believed he is a "seer" and him and I were meant to be#smh. He chewed with his mouth opened. Had stories for days about everything and anything. Was very helpful whilst I was in NYC but told me we couldn't hang out as he wanted more and I didn't. I then checked up on him a week after he had declared his love for me and he told me to never contact him#iknowright#lol

The 8th Grader...need I say more?! LOL

Shaun. +-35. African American. Originally from the Bronx, NY. Met whilst walking home from the bus stop and he drove next to me. Married.  Took off his wedding band whilst I crossed the street#smh That's all I got to know about him as I had no interest in building a friendship or anything else with him#

Pablo. Late 30s. Dominican. Spoke Spanish and English of course. Met on my way to Boston. Raised in Harlem, NY. Gentleman. Handsome. Intelligent. Funny. Sweet. Charming. Studying Theology and African Studies. Worked in the hotel industry. Passionate about Africa and ancestors. Turned out he was looking for a "wife" who'd be happiest sitting at home, twidding their thumbs and waiting for King Pablo to come home at odd hours of the morning#smh#lol

Jesse. 31. Cape Verdean. Met on the bus. "M'rapper for sho" reminded me of Vusi (usage of Ma, Shorty, nahmean)#lol. Cutie. Beautiful body. Loves himself. Chef. Passionate about love and life. Loves himself. Charming. Loves himself. Funny. Loves himself. Loves my accent. Hard working. Did I mention he loves himself?! On the real though...very pleasant guy and good peoples...

I have also met a couple of Hispanic dudes that will randomly speak Spanish to me and my response is always "me, hablo no Espanol" then they smile back and simply nod...then I reciprocate#akward!!

So there you have it folks, I'm hoping I will not be getting asked anymore questions pertaining to my relationship status, and should there be any guys will be the first to know#giggles

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend, take care and keep warm.

Stay Blessed xoxo


Tshego said...

Ja ne,all I can do is LOL cos I've heard this and can actually hear your voice.
On a serious note though, besides clearing the air and clarifying things from your end, I hope this piece helps someone see things from a different perspective.
It's also very interesting what the bible says about being single. 1 Cor 7:32-35. I'd encourage you to read the entire chapter to get the overall context.

Thank you for this gal :)

Neo said...

LOL...I am familiar with the scripture but I will read it again, thanks Gal. xoxo

ED KING said...

Interesting. Love will find you. But do expect it to hurt once in a while, it's just the nature of the beast.

Neo said...

Errrhhh not in my books Ed King!! Lets look at 1Corinthians 13 v 4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Gingerjones said...

LMAO. Oh Neo, it seems people think you went there to find a partner instead of other things like the real reason you went tto the States.Ja hey askies girl, its good you put it out there so no more of these Q's, well i hope coz you know there is still the ignorant peeps. So as we all know Everything has its own Place and Time. Love u girl!!!

Lolz said...

I love you ... Ska wara!

ED KING said...

Ne, that's God's love you are talking about, we are human, get real, sweets.

Neo said...

Okay...hang on!! What does being a Christian mean?? Last I checked it meant to aspire to be "Christlike"...go figure!!!

Anonymous said...

1stly m no longa getting my email notifications abt r latest blog, bt I'll c if I cn't subscribe again ;-). Enjoyed reading this piece as I luv the perspective on this love thing. Masses assume tht a man jus completes a woman's circle of a perfect life whn in actual fact it doesn't - well maybe nt always. We rush 2 much 2 get into relationships tht do nt contribute positivelt in our lives n reject God's timing 4 a gud well suited partner. Wait on the Lord 4 He judges r heart n will thus give u r heart's desires. Beautiful post, tx gal! Gugulethu

Keke said...

I swear people would see your overseas trip as complete if you came back with a love story. As great as that'd be, I think too few people can imagine that there is so much you can still be learning, and even though you're not 12, there's still SOOO much for you to be learning. Sad mix up of priorities, but I'm so glad you're seeing it in such a positive light.

Had a great laugh reading about the guys you've met so far though. :)