Whose Son or Daughter Are You?

I don't think I will ever fathom how much of an impact pop stars, celebrities and artists  have on the average person.  First it was Beyonce's pregnancy which broke twitter records and now the beautiful and sexy Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humpries and had social media platforms buzzing.

What I found rather intriguing is that I had a couple of my friends sending me bbm messages shocked and some even devastated at the sudden change of Kim's marital status. Despite these comments, one that stood out from the rest was this one from a very dear friend of mine;

"OMG Neo, what is happening my friend.  Is there still true love out there, please tell me!! I'm terrified"

At first, I thought my friend was joking but as we continued chatting I realized that this was a real concern to her as she later said "Kim wants to be in love and to be a wife.  I'm terrified as apart from Kim, I am surrounded by failed marriages, friends going through tough times in their marriages and it makes me wonder" 

I used to think like my friend...I remember when Eric Bennet and Halle Berry divorced I was devastated and thought if a man could cheat on Halle Berry what hope did I have of ever keeping a man considering my poster wasn't on any teenage boy's wall or locker. I was convinced ALL men cheat especially the married ones as I had been approached by a couple of them and had then sworn off marriage.  This was obviously traumatic and heart breaking for my mom to hear as she wants all four of her daughters to be married to good, honorable, God fearing men.   

Back to my chat with my friend, it then dawned upon me that we often forget who we are!  We tend to forget that we are daughters and sons of the King.  2 Corinthians 6v18:  "And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me," Says the Lord Almighty"  We forget that we have been chosen by Him;  John 15v16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name" I used to undermine myself and in turn undermine God even as a born again Christian as I used to look at the people around me and believed if God "couldn't/didn't" come through for them, why on earth would He do that for me.  I used believe that all good that people experienced was short lived and that anything good was doomed to fail as that's just how it is.  How sad a a person was I!? LOL  

So a couple of Oprah shows later, after numerous self help books, hundreds of sermons and bible study classes I FINALLY GOT IT!!!  My Father, God the Almighty sent His ONLY son to die on the cross for me so I could be free. Y'all didn't get that!  I said, God, sent His ONLY son to die on the cross for me.  He loves me sooooo much that He would do that, so why on earth would I think I am not worthy of anything good and that no good will ever come out of me and anything that I touch?  So I started reminding my friend of who she is in Christ and how blessed she is that she has been chosen by Him.  John 15v5-7:  "5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit;  apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask WHATEVER you wish, and it will be given you"  

So, if I understand this correctly:

1. We have been chosen by God
2. We are His sons and daughters
3. If we remain in Him and He in us we will bear much fruit and WHATEVER we wish for He WILL give to us.
4. We also know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8v28)
5. Matthew 21v22 You can pray for ANYTHING, and IF you have faith, you WILL receive it.

So, my question to my friend was, why then are you terrified of what your future holds?  How can what you see and experience determine your state of mind?  Where is your faith?  Hebrews 11v11:  "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" and Jeremiah 29v11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"  Can we strive to get to a point where we trust Him wholeheartedly and not be moved by what happens around us?  Can we maybe get to a point where we watch all these addictive shows on our screens as purely entertainment and NOT life lessons?  

With that said, I would like to breathe life into any dead situation in your life, be it a relationship, a job, a business, a dream, a man you have been trusting God for. Claim it! Decree it!  P.U.S.H and remember Isaiah 54v17:  "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me," declares the LORD" so stand firm and don't be shaken by Kim's divorce, your parents and friends failed marriages as YOU are not them and YOUR path is yours and yours alone!!

Have a good week and Stay Blessed xoxo

Favorite Things Fridays

Happy Friday Friends!!

Favorite video
Conceptia introduced me to this inspirational young lady; BronzeGoddess 

I am in love with her Youtube channel LOL

Favorite quote

Favorite scripture

Matthew 10v8

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.

Favorite tweet

@Gentlemenhood:  Sometimes it is better to just let go, you can only give someone CPR for a limited time, after that YOU are wasting your time.

Favorite post from a friend, Abigail Jacobs on my Facebook wall

Favorite shoes

Favorite earrings  

Favorite song

Favorite moment

Drinks and a game of ping pong with Julie, Julia and a random cutie we met.

Please excuse the picture quality, we all know that BB takes AMAZING pics lol

Favorite show 

Kept me up till 23:15 as I had to catch up and watch all 5 episodes LOL

Finally, my "mostest favoritest" thing was a 2hr skype chat with my Gal.  I especially LUUURRVVEE these as they involve engagement on scripture, life, love, men, work and plenty of laughter of course.  Love you my friend and I'm so proud of the woman you've become xoxo

I hope everyone had a fantastic week.  Wishing you all an awesome weekend and I would like to hear back from you on what your favorite things from the week were.

Stay Blessed xoxo

Till Death Do Us Part

I came across the below post on facebook and I HAD to share with you all.  It is a long read but one you will not regret!

In a relationship, married or not…you should read this!

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

With that said, I just wish people could understand the sacredness of marriage and the commitment that comes with it.  I've always maintained that IF I ever get married, it will be to a man that treasures and understands love the way I do;  1Corinthians 13v 4 -8.

Have a great week and Stay Blessed xoxo

Favorite Things Fridays

Happy Friday!!

I celebrate FRIDAYS!! Yep! Every single Friday I wake up with my belly burning with excitement and my day usually goes something like this....

1.  Up early, read my dear friend, Ntombi's Friday Motivational Message before I even say my prayers #hidesface

2.  Blast something along the lines of "Weekend Special" by Brenda Fassie;  "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper or my ultimate favorite Beyonce's "Get Me Bodied" whilst getting dressed and attempt to do the booty-hop LMAO

3.  Practically half skip whilst walking to the bus stop and greet everyone I bump into, even the old grumpy woman that refuses to greet me back.

4.  Stop over at Cafe la France for a bagel on my way to work (they serve real egg, none of that powdered egg from Dunkin Donuts)

5.  Spend half my day on Youtube and convince myself that I'm doing research for my clients.

6.  Tease a colleague and a friend about her hickey (it is 2011 right?? who still does that) LMAO

7.  Allow the same colleague and friend that I teased to show me how to draw an elephant and a monkey.

8.  Go for coffee and a smoke break with everyone that invites me.

9.  Have skype chats with former colleagues and friends from back home.

10.  Then before I know it, its 5pm, I get handed my paycheck and go home #YAY

Then its "Cheers to the Freaken Weekend"

I have decided to to have a "Favorite Things Friday" feature which will obviously focus on my favorite things from the week.  However, I do try live my life as if everyday is Friday and hence I will be investing in Joel Osteen's book titled "Every Day a Friday:  How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week" (great Christmas gift idea for a friend or partner)

After all, we have so much to be grateful for right?

So here goes...

Favorite video

Favorite cartoon 

Favorite boot

I LUUURRVVVEE these as they are sooo not my style, yet they are comfortable, edgy and 

sexy in a twisted way (I NEVER find anything less than 4" sexy) LOL
I wore them at least three times this week LOL

Favorite scripture 

 Psalm 34:18-19

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all!

Favorite tweet

@Gentlemenhood:  Stop making permanent plans around temporary people!

Favorite quote

God doesn’t move in your life when you struggle; 

He moves when you pray. Joyce Meyer

Favorite pic from Heidi Hope Photography

I absolutely love her work, check her facebook page for more pics

My favorite story of the week

http://www.kcci.com/r/29528191/detail.html

And lastly but not least, my MOST FAVORITE thing from this week was a dear friend of mine and his wife getting saved and accepting God as their Lord and Savior, total awesomeness!!  This totally made my week and I am so thankful for God's mercy and grace upon them.  I pray that God will continue to bless them and I hope I will one day be able to share with you all who they are and their testimony - "Dum spiro, spero"  which is translated, "While I breathe, I hope"


I would like to hear back from you on what your favorite things were from the week?

I wish you a blessed and fantastic weekend.  May God be with you all and may you come back refreshed and renewed for the new week. 

Stay Blessed xoxo

Food for the Soul

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”  Groucho Marx

Reading happens to be on my top five list of things I LUUURRRVVEEE doing...yet, I've only managed to read one and half a book since my arrival in the states.  Back in SA, I had no DSTV which I loved as this enabled me to indulge in the simple pleasure of being curled up in my bed and being lost in the author's world.  I miss that!!  With that said, I would like to share with you the books that I hold dear to my heart as they've either, taught me something, comforted me, revealed things about me but most importantly have assured me that I am not alone on this journey confronted with obstacles.

My bible...can't even begin to imagine my life without this book right here!!

Paulo Coelho's Collection, one of my favourite authors of all times.  

Quote from the book:

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.”
― Gustave Flaubert

Need I even comment on this book? 

We've all read it and LOVED it.

Can we please not discuss the movie, what I let down!! 

I actually fell asleep at the cinema!!

Quote from the book:

"A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you
everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own
attention so you can change your life.  A true soul mate is probably the most
important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and
smack you awake.  But to live with a soul mate forever.  Nah.  Too painful.
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself
to you, and then they leave.  And thank God for it"

This one of those books that changed my life...if you've never read or heard of it, do yourself a favour and get yourself a copy.

Quote from the book:

"When you are not happy where you are, and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime.  Its a state of limbo.  You are hanging on, ready to let go, afraid to fall, not wanting to hurt yourself, afraid you will hurt someone else.  In the meantime, you pray the other person will let go first so that you will not feel guilty"

I got this book as a gift from a dear friend of mine a couple of years back.  Single ladies out there, get yourself a copy.

Quote from the book:

“Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based on solely physical attraction and romantic feelings will only last as long as the feelings last.” 

The best fiction book I've ever read, it is BRILLIANT!!

Quote from the book:

“It's a strange paradox that a man gifted with too many talents can fritter them all away without developing a single one to its full.” 

Conceptia recommended this and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Quote from the book:

 “We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, 'I survived'.” 

These are not even half the books I've read but they're definitely ones that have stood out from the rest.  I have been reading What is the What by Dave Eggers and this book has taken me so long to read...NOT because its slow or boring, if anything it is astonishing, eye opening and heart breaking.  I just haven't made the time as I'm always on my laptop#hidesface

I plan to finish this book before Christmas as I am planning on getting myself "Everyday is Friday" by Joel Osteen.

I would like to hear back from you guys on which books have had a great impact on your life thus far.

“The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours” 

Alan Bennet, The History Boys:  The Film

I will leave you with the following scripture;  Matthew 4v4: But Jesus answered, "It is written:  'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God"

I know not everyone enjoys reading but the digital world has introduced all sorts of alternatives;  Kindle, Nook, Audio Books etc. I'd suggest you invest in one or get your boyfriend or girlfriend to get it for you for Christmas and slip involuntarily into another skin, voice and soul.

Stay Blessed xoxox

Columbus Day Weekend

Today is a Federal Holiday;  Columbus Day which means I am in bed as type this#whoopwhoop

I had my weekend planned out by Thursday and I did none of the things on my list...

Do laundry on Friday

Get my hair did on Saturday

Attend church on Sunday

Go apple picking on Monday

Instead I did the following...

Watched two episodes of "Tough Love" on Friday, thanks Lerato, I'm now hooked!! (I will definitely blog about this show)

Stayed in bed all day on Saturday watching Lifetime movies and chatting on bbm

I attended church on Sunday and that was definitely the highlight of my weekend

Today...I'm going to TRY my best do all the things I've listed above...if not, at least get out of bed and enjoy the beautiful day as the weather is lovely...after watching the 3rd episode of "Tough Love" of course LOL

I trust you had a good weekend.  Wishing you all a beautiful, blessed and amazing week ahead.

Verse:  Isaiah 41v18

I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys;  I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.

God is the God of the impossible.

You may even be in a valley of a wilderness.

Even in your wilderness God can make pools of water.

Let expectations be alive in your heart.

PRAYER:  Lord, You know the challenges I face.  I pray that You will bring life into every area of my life.  Amen

Stay Blessed xoxo

Procrastination!

"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task." William James

So...I saw a billboard a couple of weeks back promoting a seminar titled "Get Motivated" and the list of speakers was impressive to say the least.  I had every intention of going but I think I got distracted with Tshego being here...next thing I knew it was the day of the seminar and tickets were sold out!!  I was so mad at myself for not having acted when I had the opportunity#mcim  I remember even our Business to Business Leader from church announcing it and encouraging us to go, nonetheless...I missed out!!

The day of the seminar arrived and I spent half the day dejected and the other half harassing my colleague who was at the seminar with 101 questions on how it was all going until...he decided he couldn't take anymore of my abuse and went offline LOL  

Anyway, it appears the next "Get Motivated" seminar is in Nashville, which is way down south and I definitely don't have the means to make it there.  

Nonetheless, thanks to my very kind colleague who forwarded me the notes he took from some of the speakers and will also be borrowing me his discs to listen to:

Lou Holtz

• Your attitude determines what choices you make.
• You have no chance to succeed if you don't believe in yourself.
• Enjoy the challenges of your job.  If you enjoy something and are excited about it, people are going to catch that.
• What's your attitude when people say negative things?
• It is important to chose why you work.
• If you don't have dreams, nothing is going to change your life.
• Strategic plans don't excite people DREAMS do.
• Life boils down to the choices you make.
• Don't go through life being a spectator...WIN what's important now.

Things everyone SHOULD have in life:

• Something to do
• Someone to love
• Something to believe in
• Something to hope for

Three rules to live by:

• Do right and avoid what's wrong (being bitter is WRONG)
• Do everything in the very best of your ability
• Show people that you care about them

Howard Putman

• When the time to perform arrives, the time to prepare has past.
• Take turbulence, turn it around and make it work for you.
• Honesty and integrity must be your foundation.
• Great leaders have passion for what they are doing and they inspire people around them.
• No arrogance, no ego, no exclusion!
• Reward innovation as a leader.
• Be a great team NOT a team of greats.
• What legacy do you want?
• If you can develop a passion and a vision, then you can develop a brand.
• Hire attitude and develop skills.
• How you perceive the future will chart the course to how you get there.

Rick Belluzzo

• Look for opportunities during the time of hang and uncertainty.
• Strive to make a difference.
• Take on a tough assignments.
• There is always an opportunity in risk.
• Be self aware and open to feedback.
• Always make it easy to hear what you don't want to hear so you can get the feedback you need to change and become better.
• If you believe in the strategy and direction, perseverance will pay off.
• It usually takes several attempts to achieve success.
• ALWAYS maintain integrity, it matters HOW you win as integrity is better than compliance.
• Always stay true to your principles.
• Success over the long term is accomplished by strength and integrity.
• Be hard-headed and soft hearted.
• Get results and do it in the right way.
• Be a person of change who looks for opportunity.

Bob Harris

• "If I'm going to be thinking, I might as well be thinking big" Donald Trump
• Sometimes we need more than motivation, we need ideas, strategies, the right team and changes.
• We don't see things the way they are, we see things the way we are.
• We are trying to succeed using other people's thinking and preconditioned thinking.
• Challenge yourself to make today a change in your life.
• When you have an interruption of your thought pattern you can have breakthrough in your life.

I don't know about you but I usually feel tired, cranky and rather irritable this time of the year because:

• Another year has gone by and I haven't achieved half the goals I had set out for myself at the beginning of the year.
• I'm exhausted from the year's challenges.
• I'm starting to think my job sucks only cause I feel lousy about myself.
• I'm reminded that I'm still single and will be spending New Year's with my parents (AGAING) LMAO
• I usually find any reason and excuse to be miserable and wish the next couple of months will fly by so it can be the beginning of a new year and I can write down my new year's resolution and repeat the process LOL

Its definitely not the case this year and that's because I've had a very good year thus far.  Yes, I've experienced some challenges but overall its been a great year.  I've learnt more about myself in the past 7 months than I have in the last couple of years.  I've met amazing people, have created beautiful memories and have embraced every moment, I have learnt to live in the NOW and its been amazing!!

For any of you that are feeling dispirited right now, may I please remind you to remind yourself to count your blessings.  You are alive, healthy and have friends and family that love you dearly.  

Okay, soooo...

• You might not have received that promotion you were gunning for...
• Didn't land a new job even after sending your CV to more than 50 companies...
• Went on several dates and you're still single...
• You're still indebted...
• Still in a bad relationship even after you had promised to leave him...
• Have repeated the same mistakes as last year....

Fact is, we serve an AWESOME, LOVING, FAITHFUL God who never leaves nor forsakes us.  You might be feeling despondent right now but I just want to remind you that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly.  Matthew 11v28 reads:  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest"  I dare you to cast all your burdens unto Him and rely on Him to take care of them for you...I dare you!!! And those goals, consult with Him and ask Him what His will for your life is...HE DOES ANSWER...just be still and listen.

One more thing, I NEED to share the below song with you as it's been in my heart all day and I know it will make your heart smile...

Stay Blessed xoxo