Monday, May 9, 2011

To weave or not to weave, that is the question?!?#LOL

I recently visited a friend of a friend of another friend who's studying at NYU and residng in Brooklyn.  We had an amazing weekend together, considering we had only had a couple of chats on bbm and I must admit I was kind of apprehensive to hook up as I wasn't sure if we would click or not.  Anyway, turned out to be a busy, informative and fun weekend which included a lot of walking and several subway rides#lol

Saturday, we attended a conference titled "Toward an Intellectual History of Black Women Conference" which was held at the Ivy League Columbia University.  The university is absolutely beautiful with its historic buildings and architecture.  The conference was very informative as it focused on black women's history, their struggles and phenomenal achievements. 



University of Columbia



My beautiful friend Jackie & I



Banner from the Conference

After realising that I stuck out like a sore thumb because of my weave in a room filled with fros and locks, it made me wonder what defined us as a people or rather as Africans?  Does my hair make me more African?  Is it my behaviour? Culture?  Heritage? Geographical location? The language I speak? The food I eat? The questions are endless...

What also suprised me is that one of the speakers from Malawi had a weave and the other one had processed hair...so there we were, three women from the African content with weaves and processed hair, sitting in  a room in the United States of America with African-Americans in their fros and locks#identitycrisismuch?!?!

Anyway, this led to a discussion with my African-American friend on this topic and she strongly believed that weaved up girls think they look "prettier" in their synthetic hair and don't feel HOTT enough in their natural hair. She also believed that our hair is a part of who we are and we need to embrace it and be a people that celebrates ourselves just as we are.  I heard what she was saying but didn't necessarily agree as I'm not in the business of pursuiding people to wear their hair in a certain manner as we are all individuals with different preferences.  I do think it is vital that the black child be told that she is beautiful with her natural hair and need not process it, but how can the black child believe that when her own mother's hair is straightened or weaved up?!  

As you all know, I love my weave...my mom and a very dear friend of mine Loyiso aren't crazy about the idea and always encourage me to go natural but that's just not what I like.  I make a conscious and informed decision to have a weave on.  I am aware of the dangers and long term results of using creme relaxer on my hair, I am aware of the amount of money I spend annualy on my weaves but its a CHOICE I make and don't believe it makes me less African. Today, as a 27yr old black female, I like the weave and will continue getting my hair processed and weaved but, because we are evolving beings I don't know if I will one day decide to go "all natu-ral".  Should I be prosecuted for having a weave in the meantime?!?!?
We are all familiar with India Arie's song "I am not my Hair" which I absolutely love but in the same breathe it pains me when little children consider "good hair" to be WEAVES!! I think it is vital that black children be told that they are beautiful just the way they are but how can they possible believe it if we the adults keep straightening and weaving our hair?!?!  I don't know...I'm just putting it out there and would like to hear your comments on this topic...

I have attached a youtube video from Tyra's show where she interviewed several women on what they think "good hair" is.  Please note its a five part video but quite interesting and saddening at the same time especially when it comes to how and what the children think about themselves, beauty and "good hair":  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeXUm8OOUA8&NR=1

Ultimately, I believe its about personal choice and preference, the question is, are our choices informed and not driven by fear and history?  With that said, I'm not in the business of dictating to people what kind of hairstyle they need to have, however I am in the business of informing and sharing with people about salvation, grace and God's eternal love#justsaying.

So for some, the question remains "to weave or not to weave"?LOL

Stay blessed xoxo





7 comments:

Miss Mpela said...

To Weave.... black beautiful child.... the weave can never change the FACT that you are black...

Anonymous said...

Am loving this one!?!! I absolutely agree with you...its a matter of CHOICE and PREFERENCE.

The architect said...

Very well written Ms critical!! I enjoyed this quite a bit. You and your friend are both gorgeous african women!!! You make very astute points about hair and identity infact I remember having this very conversation with Thabi Seekane about how hair can affect one's identity...but such is only at face value. By this I mean, to assume that one is less african based on their hair is one dimensional particularly if that person is someone like you who made a conscious decision to put weave even though they are very in touch with who they are. Although, such women are few and far between, which would explain why majority of people would assume that 'weavers' dont know who they are and are trying to be like the westerners. I agree with you that it is not right to dictate what kind of hair african women should have, with that being said, I am very pro natural hair as that is (besides skin colour) one distinctive feature that differentiates them from other races, plus it is so beautiful!!! So I vote for Afro!!!! African identity is beyond superficial things like how one looks, though one should not dismiss how looks affect this. Let me end it off here before i write a dissertation.

Anonymous said...

I believe what we do to our hair or how we dress does not define who we are, its whats within us that speaks volumes. We all do hair style and wear what we feel makes us look Hot on the outside, BUT we always remember whats Inside.Thembi Yabo!!! Nice one Neo.

Mukondeleli said...

TO Weave indeed....i agree with what you are saying here Neo and your hair doesnt define who you are or make you any less beautiful...if having a weave is ure own perosnal choice then why not. U know me and my weave can never be celebrated and truth be told like u said it doesnt make me any less african....I am loving your blogs babe xoxo

Aria2222 said...

As women,we should not buy into the opinion that our hair defines who we are! I am a white Italian women with very curly nappy hair, I too strighten my hair because it makes me feel better, right now! Years past, I kept it curly and I thought it was beautiful, as well! We as WOMEN have to learn beauty is not about hair texture,color or skin color, eye color, height, but who we are as a person.We as women, we have so much to offer our female and male counter parts, just from being born with the XX chromosome. I believe so much emphasis has been put on a female's exterior because of the male opinion! It will and has always been what is on the inside that counts! I truly believe in this motto, "Do what makes YOU feel good on the inside and out but most of all... forget the opinion of all others, it is only your opinion that really matters!

Anonymous said...

WOW quite a mouthful there my friend (Aria 2222) and I totally agree with you - beauty is definitely skin deep. Neo